J O U R N A L ~ !

mood: HAPPY HAPPy HGSDFg| music: none | time: 12:15pm

GUYS im moving to florida. real estate is a mess rn. im holding off on buying a house. i have the down payment ready to go but im waiting for either interest rates or prices to go down. i went this past week to go look around for rentals, i found the cutest house, its cozy and has a porch and a sunroom. its right in the middle of all these cute shops and cafes right outside of Tampa. the landlord seems chill, he said i could have a garden. i gave him the deposit already and i need to call the electric company and internet company to set that shit up and get a new license. i just got back to Atlanta last night and ive been packing today eeeeeeeee. ALSO i got a cat!!!!! shes super cute, sweet and cuddly. i named her Clover. i got her from the pet shelter a few weeks ago. she likes to drink out of the sink while im brushing my teeth and she like to lay on me. im so excited cus there as been a lot of changes in my life recently that i really still feel like i dont wanna talk about on here if they arent positive. im gonna post so many pics soon of my nu haus n cyat v soon.

mood: aight | music: up off X - Yeat | time: 09:06pm

so, im kinda in the process of trying to buy a house. my original plan was to move to florida cus my sister lives there and eternal summer duh but honestly this recent hurricane scared me. my heart really goes out to everyone affected, its fucking horrifying. thankfully my sister is okay but its really tragic that people lose everything they've ever worked for because of it. it really makes re rethink it. i told my mom about this and she has been helping me look for something here. theres a really cute townhome i can afford w/ HOA (satan's greatest creation) we went and saw today. 2 bedrooms and really cute sunroom with a porch in a really nice part of north atlanta. kitchen needs a bit of updating but that will come in time. we met with the agent and did the pre-approval letter with a loan officer. i put down 5k in earnest money but the agent told us that there was an investor who offered to buy it outright in cash 10k over asking. i have a 30% downpayment and am doing 10k over asking, now its just up to the seller. i've been saving money for so long for this... im just ready to really start my spinster cat lady life. interest rates are so high now, like buying a home this price with interest rates from 6months ago, the morgage payment would be hundreds of dollars less a month. the plan is just to eat beans and rice for a while until i can refinace to lower rate. i might be making a mistake but i want to do this, its still cheaper than renting. rents here are beyong insane. 1600+ for a shitty 1br you dont even own. fingers are super crossed, we will see what happens.

mood: frustrated | music: Jealous <3 - Joanna7459 | time: 08:43am

I've been thinking a lot recently about the "go green" movement that is currently being pushed unto us in a way that couldn't be further from organic (no pun intended), and while i'm a big ted kaczynski stan (unironically... read Industrial Society and Its Future) and really do everything i can to try to be as conscious as possible and I think most normal people are. Normal people recycle, they don't litter, they have reusable shopping bags. The way you hear the current administration push so fervently for us to flip our lives upside down for their version of it is beyond insane. The way they expect a single mother of three to spend 80k on an electric vehicle when groceries and rent has become astronomically inflated. People in certain parts of the country don't have clean drinking water, and our infrastructure is crumbling. All of this while they take their private jets to Paris climate accord meetings and Davos and their mansion compounds use as much electricity as dozens of average sized homes. The most insane part about the push to electric vehicles is the fact THAT THEY RUN ON ELECTRICITY.... and where does that come from???? FOSSIL FUELS. Also the fact that their batteries cannot be recycled. If you wanna get really conspiratorial, it can even be argued that this is to restrict freedom of movement, these cars can only go a few hundred miles per charge and we do not have the infrastructure for charging stations everywhere... at least not yet.

recycling is all one big scam too, according to the EPA, only about 8% of plasic is actually recycled. Most of it is shipped overseas to developing countries. The people supporting this have their heart in the right place but we must remember, these people pushing for this have a lot of money to make with their investments in these sectors. Maybe someday this will all be a feasible reality but it took us decades to transition from coal to fossil fuels. it is a war on the working class, the people who rely on transportation to get to work to feed their families.

It also cannot be understated how bad for the environment all of this actually is. it's all fake and stupid. keep doing your part to be as minimal in your waste, start a garden, get some chickens, don't buy fast fashion or things that are individually packaged for no reason.

This entire bill Biden just passed is a wealth transfer from the working class to the rich. I'm not even conservative by any means but this is by far the most destructive administration i've ever seen in my life. I'm interested to see where the midterms go. It's obvious that the left and the right hate women. so at this point as much as I hate to say it, we may be better off with republicans taking the house and senate when it comes to the economy. democrats aren't your friends. republicans aren't your friends. joe biden is a senile installed puppet and this regime has left nothing but suffering for the average person in it's wake.

mood: optimistic | music: please be nice - Undying Love w/ DJ 9GAG | time: 11:05pm

i'm going saturday to florida to see my lil sister!! she moved down there and i wanna hang out with her n go to the beach hehe. i have been obsessivly saving money for the past year and i have enough for a down payment for a small house/condo. the market has been very bad since *cough* biden got elected covid but honestly it seems as though a crash is imminent. without doxxing myself forreal, lets just say i know a real estate agent who has been giving me a lot of advice. i have been following the real estate bubble reddit and tbh fam, its coming. My plan for going down there isnt just to hang out n be a fat beach bum but I'm gonna go see what all of tampa bay area has to offer in terms of real estate. my mom found an agent from our country down there. I think the plan is to go to the bank to discuss mortgage loan around winter break to give the market a little more time to see what its gonna do. i already discussed all of this with my bosses and they were so chill about me moving there. i work from home and our home office is in florida so even tho i dont plan on moving to the same city i would still be a florida employee and get to keep my sweet sweet dollars georgia takes in state tax each paycheck. also, i get to go to bucc-ees on the way from atlanta to tampa. >:) u know those crystal energy vibe people who believe crystals have powers??? thats me but with palm trees, i swear they have an aura and energy i need to be around. i feel like moves are finally happening and i cant wait to be a cringe asset owner. mo more renting! no more paying rent when a morgage is cheaper AND ITS YOURS!!! i feel like a boomer bc all of this has always felt so out of reach and it is for most people my age but ive just been meticulously saving and living v frugal for so long.

mood: inspired | music: j├ęger - raven w/ lvst | time:5:13pm

im literally just vibing trying to teach myself blender. the sculpting tool is actually really fun. this is my first attempt with it, i didnt use any references and yes i know the pupil doesnt actually stick out lmao. i still have a lot to learn like idk how any of the texturing or uv mapping stuff works and most of the stuff in "object mode" is way beyond me. i love the symmetry too tho lol. i wish that existed for pencils and paper haha. hair is really difficult i think because there is a very fine line between blob clay chunk vs over detailed and messy. its like with art i guess, you gotta think more in forms and shape vs drawing every individual line. I have a very long way to go but this is actually really fun. plus i can make biggy tiddy mods for my world of warcraft private server mwhahaha.

Click to open these in a new tab, the hair needs a lot of work but i dont really know what i'm doing. im just gonna keep practicing. without the risk of sounding cringe but like, i really do just chip away at some type of art project every single day. it dont matter if its the ol comfortable routine of doodling in my sketchbook or trying something new, i really do have a creative yearning to do something every single day and for the most part i do live up to it. no matter whats going on in my life, this is the thing i make time for, not muh new netflix show or whatever creating stuff and living in my stupid head is the only thing that brings me true joy and fulfillment.

mood: chill | music: dj animebby - ki55 m3 | time: 1:19pm

It's been like a year since i freaking did any updates to this site, I've kinda like taken a hiatus for a minute. A lot has happened lol, I work from home and its super comfy. I moved and got new furniture. I've just been literally vibing and chilling. Here is a pic of my desk setup hehe. I love these stupid Ikea drawers any my mini fridge

mood: sigh | music: Capoxxo - Perfect (ft. oaf1 & dreamcache) | time:7:32pm

bruh. im half way through a sketchbook and i want to start a new one. this is the worst part... i hate not finishing them, but at the same time i dont want to draw in this one and it stifles creativity. im usually really good at finishing both sides front to back but sometimes i lose interest and want to start a new one. i like the one im currently using but the paper sucks for watercolor -_- I cant wait for halloween. im going to a a rave and im gonna dress up as a bunny rabbit and i plan on posting pix cus i never take pix of myself heuheuheu

mood: EXCITE | music: none | time: 3:22pm

I DID IT LIKE THE ABSOLUTE MAD LAD I AM!! I bought another nintendo switch. This time..... a hackable one. I got homebrew and all the other software running on it. It really wasnt that hard to do. I'm really happy! I can emulate old roms, use cheats, spawn anything in ACNH including unobtainable items, download linux and android, overclock the system, you can download themes (I like the simple nintendo one, so I went with something not too edited) and most of all, EVERYTHING ON THE NINTENDO SHOP PLUS ALL DLC FREEEEE!!! Honestly piracy is punk rock and anyone who disagrees is a shill for capitalism. nobody employed at ninendo is going to starve if people do this. And honestly i don't care if people steal, trace or copy my art and profit so I feel no moral obligation to be against piracy. Piracy doenst hurt anyone, if anything me pirating an indie game may seem like its hurting the delveloper but the sale they lost from me, they may gain when I tell my anti-piracy friends how great this game is that I otherwise wouldn't have bought. All in all HACKED SWITCH = BASED.

Next I'm gonna replace the shell of the system and the joycons to get them like cute and pastel colored or something, not a case but remove the black part of the screen and the red/blue on the joycons and put new shells on them!

mood: okay | music: Cowgirl Clue - Limelite | time: 4:50pm

so im starting to work from home on monday next week! im so excited! ive been feeling really mentally overwhelmed. like im being pulled in 500 different directions. im really busy and occupied and its kinda nice in a way. i go to bed tired but dont always wake up rested. it is what it is. im playing wrath of the lich king private servers again. i need a new video game...... plz send reccs.

mood: tired | music: Pictureplane - Touching Transform | time: 5:57pm

lol i have to weird flex........ i just wanna show u guys my croc charms or jingints or whatever theyre called hehehehehe

mood: hungry | music: Ssilcia - As Above So Below | time: 07:32pm

I quit playing WoW. Or "quit" i should say. I unsubbed but lordt knows ill be back eventually :( TBC is a huge let down. I've started playing Final Fantasy XIV last night. I'm a level 14 lancer and I'm having hella fun, I love FF games so idk why it took me this long to try this one! I wanna change my character to a Viera if I keep playing! I love my job too so far! I'm excited for life!

mood: good | music: Kempachii - Oh Yuh | time: 3:19pm

i did it! i bit the bullet and finally got an ipad and pencil! ive wanted one for a long time since its been AGES since ive done digital art lol and i really miss doing it. it was between an ipad and a wacom or huion. ive heard things about huions having glitches and bad drivers and basically bricking themselves after a while and i didnt wanna be tethered to the computer with a wacom so i went with the ipad. i got the cheapest 10.2 32gb which was only 349.99$ at best buy plus the pencil for another hundo. the cheapest wacom with a display is the Wacom: One which was 399.99$ and i think i made the right choice. i also oreded a cute carebear case from aliexpress for it & ive seen ppl using a screen cover that mimics paper and its dumb expensive on amazon but i got one for 7$ from ali! i love it so far, procreate is so easy and intuitive to use. ill be posting digi art soon! ALSO i started a new sketchbook a few days ago, its a big wide Rhodia with dotted pages, the paper is SOOO smooth and my markers just glide across it. i painted it blue n i think it looks p cute!!

mood: frustrated | music: none | time: 4:52pm

ive pulled an all nigher and im trying to stay up all day. im caffinated AF on my 3rd cup of matcha and im trying to draw n i go to sharpen this idiot pencil and HOW TF DOES THIS HAPPEN?!?!? MY EXPENSIVE CARAN D ACHE PENSKULS!!!!!!!! sigh very bigly frustrated. >:I

mood: excited | music: No_4mat - 1992 | time: 12:55pm

IM VERRRRRRRRY EXCITED because i recently found out about a site called Neopets Classic. i was a avid neopets player throughout my childhood and it is kinda why i enjoy writing code and maybe had a big reason in why i got into art as seriously as i did as a kid. anyway, my main neo account got banned in like 2018 for "hacking" which idk how when all i did was trade old rare items for NP on the trading board kek. maybe someone reported me ;_; oh well. im kinda over it now because the site revamp looks like ass and i hate the new converted pets and microtransactions. i kinda left retail WoW for years to play private servers of older expansions and to see someone do this with neopets is really exciting! the sign ups are currently closed since the site in beta and im still waiting on making an account. they do open up fairly often it seems i just happen to miss it with life stuff but be sure to keep an eye on Jelly Classic, which is classic version of JellyNeo. also their discord.

Here are some of my dream pets! im really nostalgic for the fire paintbrush because back in my mallgoth middle school days it was my dream edgy pet and same with starry because its so classic neopets! i cant wait to make stories and petpages for them its so fun ;_;

mood: content | music: PHONK | time: 2:24pm

i upgraded my ram and also bought a internal SSD! i went from 4gb to now 16gb and moved my whole operating system and all my files to the SSD. hollllllllly crap everything runs soo much faster now. all my games pop up in an instant and i get great FPS. before i could barely run retail wow and i couldnt run sims 4 with CC at all but now i have 40gb or CC in sims and it runs perfectly smooth! im so happy! i might make a section of this site deticated to my sims 4 character uwu. its kinda nice still having my old drive too for extra space for pics and music n stuff too. im looking into getting a drawing tablet with a display soon too. im still in the process of researching this though cus i kinda miss doing digital art hehe.

mood: sleepy | music: Iglooghost - Bug Thief | time: 1:36pm

my sleeping pattern has been so ****ed recently, ive been waking up at like 3pm and going to bed at like 5/6am. ive always been a night person and a late waker upper but sometimes i get in these habits ;_; the only way i ever manage to break them is when i stay up all night then all day the next day... sigh we will see what happens. im skipping a semester of school bc im having issue with financial aid that will hopefully get fixed soon. ive gotten back into classic WoW and been going hard, got to level 43 playing w my sister and irl friends. im playing a holy priest and i hope we will raid soon if we ding 60 b4 burning crusade comes out. i also cant wait for blizzcon and the big reveal of BC. i have a few WoW accounts all under the same battle.net and my main account got a 1.5 year suspension back in like november of 2019 because i was "using 3rd party programs" and i think its because i tried to set up steam link to try n play on my phone and it flagged it as a bot or something, ah well. i have been playing classic on another account but its all good because my server i originally rolled on is dead (rip deviate delight US ;_;) its been fun tho starting fresh. other than that ive kinda taken a hiatus from neocities for a few months but ive gotten the spark to mess with this site again and plan on adding a lot more content!

here is a doodle of my tauren druid, Kinoko on the Earthfury US server!

mood: hungry | music: casey mq - glossy lips | time: 9:36pm

im so over this corona stuff. i wanna go to the beach so bad and im kinda bummed i havent been able to this summer. im still wating on my taxes and my first stimulus check and i keep calling the irs to see wassup and they just send me through the menu prompts and tell me its still processing. VERY ANNOYING. i really need a new phone. i still have an iphone6 and its not for any frivolous reasons, this thing is slow, cracked an the battery lasts for like 4 hours tops after 100% charge. other than that life has been okay. i miss going out. i havent been to a single show, bar or out dancing all year. i just sit at home and play video games or walk around town or go shopping. im very disillusioned by the state of the world as a whole at the moment. its a strange sureal time we live in with all that is going on.

in other news, i finished this sketchbook (click for bigger pic)

mood: meh | music: Bladee - Lovenote K9999 edit | time: 3:07am

quarentine is so boring. i did great this semester since all my classes went online lol. i've been playing a lotta minecraft and i'm gonna try to work on this site more! i have sooooooooooo much free time!

mood: hurting | music: ecco2k - baile edit | time: 11:08am

woke up @ 5am this morning to my bottom right wisdom toof ON FIRE! it hurts so freaking bad. its super infected on the gum around it since its only half errupted. i think this is called pericoronitis and it sucks. i cant open my mouth really and my jaw is swollen af. i wanna go to the dentist to get it pulled out so bad but they are closed on fridays and the weekend so i gotta wait till monday. i was told when i went to the dentist as a teenager that my wisdom teeth would come in straight and didnt need pulling, the top ones did but the bottom ones are only half out and im 27 years old. these should have been out x_x sigh, i just took a bunch of advil and am trying to pass the time now that i feel kinda better.

in other news, i started playing that new linege phone game and pls look at how cute my valkyrie character is ;_;

mood: stressed | music: Katamari Damacy Soundtrack | time: 08:54pm

just got off work! im super stressed! i just finished my finals! my payment for next semester is due today! my obamacare renewal is due by the 15th so is my credit card minimum! my car insurace is due by the 13th! i think im beyond late for 2020 fasfa, i need to go talk to an advisor. fml i hate deadlines x_x im pissed juul discontinued the mint pods, my bf and i got like 20 packs of them haha. im gonna take pics of my sticker collection and add them to my site soon too hehe!!