journal

I've been playing Final Fantasy XIV again! I first the PS4 free to play in like 2018 and never got very far. To be honest, coming from WoW it was hard to adjust to the controller lol. I put it down and didn't think about it for a long time. A few years later, there was a big exodus of WoW players coming to FFXIV that I kept reading about and decided to try it in 2021. I've been playing WoW classic private servers for years and even though I grew up on the Final Fantasy series, I never really gave this game a real chance. I made a Miq'ote Lancer named Bean Chan with my ex and we played for a while. We finished the A Realm Reborn content and I put it down again. Even though I've heard the community say over and over how ARR was mid and the game gets so much better after it. I thoroughly enjoyed ARR. I played Lancer because it has always been my favorite class fantasy in the FF series. I love armor and drawing it, something about their spikey armor and pointy sticks really does activate my almonds lmao. Heavensward is 10/10 and Estinien is my elfboy Lancer husbando. I'm currently leveling through Stormblood and I love the story so far!

I recently came back again. I made a new character! A Highlander named Matcha Sorbet! This time I rolled a Paladin, I really enjoy tanking in MMOs and I wanted to try it in FFXIV. It's a lot easier to tank in this game than in Classic WoW. Threat is called enmity and basically, you cant lose threat whereas in WoW, you constantly have to be generating it so the DPS don't steal it from you. I've also been leveling Lancer on this character and just barely scratching the surface on the other jobs.

Once I finish the Shadowbringers content I will probably get Endwalker to try the Sage class. Their weapons look cool. I have my old PC hooked up to my TV in my living room so I can watch ad and sponser free youtube and run my MC server, I just ordered a bluetooth dongle for it so I can put FFXIV on there and play with a PS4 controller for comfy crafting and alt job leveling. I'm gonna try to get comfortable with the controller first though lol. My favorite FF game was always X-2 and I loved leveling all the dresspheres on Yuna, Rikku and Paine. Something about number go up made monkey brain neuron fire and I would like to eventually level them all.

The jobs levels so far as of 4.13.23

I really don't like the coomer playerbase though if I'm being honest. Everyone is a generic cat/lizard girl (which are cute and I love but some of the people playing them are so cringe) in some type of badly color coordinated mismatched glamour and its really cringe to see them talking about uwu headpats. Speaking of glamour, to be honest... I don't care for it like at all. I come from playing the first 3 classic WoW expansions before transmogrification was introduced and I like seeing the armor I'm actually wearing. I want to be a Paladin with big heavy plate armor and a sword and wearing a bikini kinda kills it for me. I know its so important as a gameplay fearture to this community but I honestly don't care for it at all. Also, I'm still leveling and replacing all my gear all the time. I'm really enjoying collecting all the minion pets, I did that a lot in WoW too haha. Also, I have Reshade downloaded because the color palate in this game so is desaturated and grey and dusty and I really don't like it. I cranked up the sharpness and saturation and it helps a lot lol. The brightness of these screenshots isn't edited, this is what my game actually looks like with reshade! Also I have hair and eyelash mods!

Paladin and Lancer armor!!

Possibly might make a whole seperate page for my adventures in Eorzea kinda like I have for my WoW characters page.


02.06.23
mood: content | music: Black - YoungBoy Never Broke Again | time: 05:50pm

I moved to Florida and life is very chill. Bigly enjoying. I don't miss actually living in Atlanta but I miss Atlanta???? It's weird and bittersweet lmao. I haven't done much with my site in a while. Idk been kinda preocupied. I want to redo my whole site, like new layout, new css and everything. I want to trim down some of the old content too, I have art and pictures that are a few years old I'm kinda over looking at haha. I also think its kinda too bloated. It takes too long to load everything like its not optimized. Me and my sister went to see the Dali museum in St. Petersburg it was really cool and interesting, the scale of some of those paintings where HUGE like 20ft tall huge. It was insane to see irl. It was nice to go to a museum, I haven't been to one in a while. The High in Atlanta has a free day once a month and I used to go lol. I wanna check out the rave scene in Orlando, it's a lil bit of a drive but I've always heard it was lit like for yearsssss i've heard that lmao. Being single again is nice, I can do literally whatever I want whenever haha. It's cool just like taking care of myself, I'm proud of myself tbh. I feel very free and content n_n I can't wait for beach season, I'm ready to absorb UV rays and drink coconut water while covered in sand lmao. I went and got my nostril pierced cus why tf not? Fun fact, I have my septum pierced too and have since like 2011 but I don't wear it and havent in FOREVER cus its kinda lowkey cheugy imo lmao.


08.09.22
mood: inspired | music: jéger - raven w/ lvst | time:5:13pm

im literally just vibing trying to teach myself blender. the sculpting tool is actually really fun. this is my first attempt with it, i didnt use any references and yes i know the pupil doesnt actually stick out lmao. i still have a lot to learn like idk how any of the texturing or uv mapping stuff works and most of the stuff in "object mode" is way beyond me. i love the symmetry too tho lol. i wish that existed for pencils and paper haha. hair is really difficult i think because there is a very fine line between blob clay chunk vs over detailed and messy. its like with art i guess, you gotta think more in forms and shape vs drawing every individual line. I have a very long way to go but this is actually really fun.


06.27.22
mood: chill | music: dj animebby - ki55 m3 | time: 1:19pm

It's been like a year since i freaking did any updates to this site, I've kinda like taken a hiatus for a minute. A lot has happened lol, I work from home and its super comfy. I moved and got new furniture. I've just been literally vibing and chilling. Here is a pic of my desk setup hehe. I love these stupid Ikea drawers any my mini fridge

10.22.21
mood: sigh | music: Capoxxo - Perfect (ft. oaf1 & dreamcache) | time:7:32pm

bruh. im half way through a sketchbook and i want to start a new one. this is the worst part... i hate not finishing them, but at the same time i dont want to draw in this one and it stifles creativity. im usually really good at finishing both sides front to back but sometimes i lose interest and want to start a new one. i like the one im currently using but the paper sucks for watercolor -_- I cant wait for halloween. im going to a a rave and im gonna dress up as a bunny rabbit and i plan on posting pix cus i never take pix of myself heuheuheu


09.20.21
mood: EXCITE | music: none | time: 3:22pm

I DID IT LIKE THE ABSOLUTE MAD LAD I AM!! I bought another nintendo switch. This time..... a hackable one. I got homebrew and all the other software running on it. It really wasnt that hard to do. I'm really happy! I can emulate old roms, use cheats, spawn anything in ACNH including unobtainable items, download linux and android, overclock the system, you can download themes (I like the simple nintendo one, so I went with something not too edited) and most of all, EVERYTHING ON THE NINTENDO SHOP PLUS ALL DLC FREEEEE!!! Honestly piracy is punk rock and anyone who disagrees is a shill for capitalism. nobody employed at ninendo is going to starve if people do this. And honestly i don't care if people steal, trace or copy my art and profit so I feel no moral obligation to be against piracy. Piracy doenst hurt anyone, if anything me pirating an indie game may seem like its hurting the delveloper but the sale they lost from me, they may gain when I tell my anti-piracy friends how great this game is that I otherwise wouldn't have bought. All in all HACKED SWITCH = BASED.

Next I'm gonna replace the shell of the system and the joycons to get them like cute and pastel colored or something, not a case but remove the black part of the screen and the red/blue on the joycons and put new shells on them!

08.09.21
mood: okay | music: Cowgirl Clue - Limelite | time: 4:50pm

so im starting to work from home on monday next week! im so excited! ive been feeling really mentally overwhelmed. like im being pulled in 500 different directions. im really busy and occupied and its kinda nice in a way. i go to bed tired but dont always wake up rested. it is what it is. im playing wrath of the lich king private servers again. i need a new video game...... plz send reccs.


08.05.21
mood: tired | music: Pictureplane - Touching Transform | time: 5:57pm

lol i have to weird flex........ i just wanna show u guys my croc charms or jingints or whatever theyre called hehehehehe

06.29.21
mood: hungry | music: Ssilcia - As Above So Below | time: 07:32pm

I quit playing WoW. Or "quit" i should say. I unsubbed but lordt knows ill be back eventually :( TBC is a huge let down. I've started playing Final Fantasy XIV last night. I'm a level 14 lancer and I'm having hella fun, I love FF games so idk why it took me this long to try this one! I wanna change my character to a Viera if I keep playing! I love my job too so far! I'm excited for life!


04.16.21
mood: good | music: Kempachii - Oh Yuh | time: 3:19pm

i did it! i bit the bullet and finally got an ipad and pencil! ive wanted one for a long time since its been AGES since ive done digital art lol and i really miss doing it. it was between an ipad and a wacom or huion. ive heard things about huions having glitches and bad drivers and basically bricking themselves after a while and i didnt wanna be tethered to the computer with a wacom so i went with the ipad. i got the cheapest 10.2 32gb which was only 349.99$ at best buy plus the pencil for another hundo. the cheapest wacom with a display is the Wacom: One which was 399.99$ and i think i made the right choice. i also oreded a cute carebear case from aliexpress for it & ive seen ppl using a screen cover that mimics paper and its dumb expensive on amazon but i got one for 7$ from ali! i love it so far, procreate is so easy and intuitive to use. ill be posting digi art soon! ALSO i started a new sketchbook a few days ago, its a big wide Rhodia with dotted pages, the paper is SOOO smooth and my markers just glide across it. i painted it blue n i think it looks p cute!!




04.15.21
mood: frustrated | music: none | time: 4:52pm

ive pulled an all nigher and im trying to stay up all day. im caffinated AF on my 3rd cup of matcha and im trying to draw n i go to sharpen this idiot pencil and HOW TF DOES THIS HAPPEN?!?!? MY EXPENSIVE CARAN D ACHE PENSKULS!!!!!!!! sigh very bigly frustrated. >:I




03.28.21
mood: excited | music: No_4mat - 1992 | time: 12:55pm

IM VERRRRRRRRY EXCITED because i recently found out about a site called Neopets Classic. i was a avid neopets player throughout my childhood and it is kinda why i enjoy writing code and maybe had a big reason in why i got into art as seriously as i did as a kid. anyway, my main neo account got banned in like 2018 for "hacking" which idk how when all i did was trade old rare items for NP on the trading board kek. maybe someone reported me ;_; oh well. im kinda over it now because the site revamp looks like ass and i hate the new converted pets and microtransactions. i kinda left retail WoW for years to play private servers of older expansions and to see someone do this with neopets is really exciting! the sign ups are currently closed since the site in beta and im still waiting on making an account. they do open up fairly often it seems i just happen to miss it with life stuff but be sure to keep an eye on Jelly Classic, which is classic version of JellyNeo. also their discord.

Here are some of my dream pets! im really nostalgic for the fire paintbrush because back in my mallgoth middle school days it was my dream edgy pet and same with starry because its so classic neopets! i cant wait to make stories and petpages for them its so fun ;_;

i upgraded my ram and also bought a internal SSD! i went from 4gb to now 16gb and moved my whole operating system and all my files to the SSD. hollllllllly crap everything runs soo much faster now. all my games pop up in an instant and i get great FPS. before i could barely run retail wow and i couldnt run sims 4 with CC at all but now i have 40gb or CC in sims and it runs perfectly smooth! im so happy! i might make a section of this site deticated to my sims 4 character uwu. its kinda nice still having my old drive too for extra space for pics and music n stuff too. im looking into getting a drawing tablet with a display soon too. im still in the process of researching this though cus i kinda miss doing digital art hehe.


02.04.21
mood: sleepy | music: Iglooghost - Bug Thief | time: 1:36pm

my sleeping pattern has been so ****ed recently, ive been waking up at like 3pm and going to bed at like 5/6am. ive always been a night person and a late waker upper but sometimes i get in these habits ;_; the only way i ever manage to break them is when i stay up all night then all day the next day... sigh we will see what happens. ive gotten back into classic WoW and been going hard, got to level 43 playing w my sister and irl friends. im playing a holy priest and i hope we will raid soon if we ding 60 b4 burning crusade comes out. i also cant wait for blizzcon and the big reveal of BC. i have a few WoW accounts all under the same battle.net and my main account got a 1.5 year suspension back in like november of 2019 because i was "using 3rd party programs" and i think its because i tried to set up steam link to try n play on my phone and it flagged it as a bot or something, ah well. i have been playing classic on another account but its all good because my server i originally rolled on is dead (rip deviate delight US ;_;) its been fun tho starting fresh. other than that ive kinda taken a hiatus from neocities for a few months but ive gotten the spark to mess with this site again and plan on adding a lot more content!

here is a doodle of my tauren druid, Kinoko on the Earthfury US server!